Fly enough miles in a small seat at 35,000 feet, and the airlines sometimes reward you with an “Upgrade” to first class.  Flying home from Palm Beach to Atlanta last Friday, I was upgraded to First Class.  As I got comfortable in 3A, the gentleman in 3B introduced himself and we began chatting.

He was returning to his Midwest home after a week of South Florida golf with his retired buddies.  He told me the $75 he paid to upgrade to first class was a treat to himself.  It was, he said, an extravagance today, but common practice for him not all that long ago.  That comment turned the conversation topic to his business.

He was a lawyer by trade, but didn’t practice law.  According to his estimates, his real talent lay in putting together business deals.   He had been successful at this; until his last one.  Now at age 72, he considers himself to have “nothing to show for my life.”  That comment surprised me.  He looked much younger than his 72 years, he had vitality in his step and speech, and his conversation betrayed a man of above average intelligence.  Nothing to show for his life?

His last deal began with 3 partners, 6 profitable restaurants, and a modest amount of debt.  A combination of borrowing heavily to buy out the one partner who knew the restaurant business and a poor economy has left the 6 restaurants struggling to pay the monthly debt payments.  At the end of the month there is not enough to cover those payments, and consequently nothing for his pocket except more red ink.  Second mortgages on his and his 95-year-old mother’s homes have put both homes at risk.

As I listened to the story, his second-guessing, the looking back, and the deep-seated discouragement struck me.  Ok, I could understand the discouragement–at least in part.  But the discouragement was self-defeating.  He clearly had his health, energy and intelligence–he had the weapons to win.  Yet, he was focused on decisions and events of the past.  When I asked him what he intended to do about the future, he said he “didn’t see any hope, unless another investor comes along, and that isn’t likely.”

I was reminded of the quote by boxer Jack Dempsey “A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can’t.”  I didn’t know how badly beaten this man was, but clearly he was not trying to get up.   And I told him so. “I hear you talking about what you’ve done, but nothing about what you can or will do.”  He asked, “What can I do?  I don’t see any options.”  To which I said, “If you keep looking into the past, you won’t find the opportunities for your future.  You need to learn from the past, but don’t let the past determine your future.”  That could have earned me a punch in the mouth, but instead, I got a wry smile.  “What do you mean?” he asked.

“The past is gone.  You can’t change it.  It is out of your control.  But you can change the future. What you do in the future is under your control.”

So we started to talk about things he could control: starting with himself.  What could he learn that would help him make better decisions?  The attorney told me he could learn more about the restaurant business.  What would bring more guests into his restaurants? How could his restaurants become more profitable?  Once we got the ball rolling, he didn’t stop.  What could he do to restructure his loans to ease the monthly burden?  From years of doing business in this city, he had friends in the banking industry that could perhaps offer suggestions.  What were his skills and what was his knowledge that could be brought to better use in solving the problems he now faced?

Did this conversation make a difference?  I don’t know.  He asked for my phone number.  I hope he calls.  I do know this: when I stepped off the plane, the man in 3B had ideas in his head and a smile on his face that he didn’t have when he sat down.  I hope that $75 he spent to upgrade and fly first class was a good investment for him.  Only the future will tell, but that is for him to determine.

About the Author – Paul G. Schempp

Dr. Schempp, president of Performance Matters, Inc., is a professional speaker, coach and consultant. Paul has more than 25 years of experience in the fields of research, teaching and professional development. Individuals and organizations in business, education and sport have elevated their expertise and achieved exceptional performance by working with Dr. Schempp.